The limitations of thinking. One of the challenges in communication is in cutting through our assumptions.Every relationship that goes beyond a simple transaction is fraught with potential challenges, confusion, and hurt feelings.Our thoughts are a big reason why this is so true. When … [Read more...] about Surface Your Assumptions
What do you mean?
Intent vs. Impact Whenever I enter into a situation where there is confusion and conflict within a team, I look for the gap between the intentions and the impacts of what people say.What does that mean?Most people who are working on a project have to work collaboratively with a team of … [Read more...] about What do you mean?
Our techniques to avoid failure.
Anything but that. Have you ever noticed a temptation to signal helplessness?I once was in a particularly difficult spin class where the instructor kept shouting to us to increase the resistance on our bikes.About halfway through the class, I was feeling like I had made a terrible mistake. … [Read more...] about Our techniques to avoid failure.
Power of Possibility
Not as smart as we think. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get stuck in a pattern of thinking?If you're self-aware, you might find that you rationalize yourself into a corner.We tend to turn beliefs and assumptions into logic, which gets us stuck.In no place is this more evident … [Read more...] about Power of Possibility
Pay attention
Just this. Here is one of my favorite W.S. Merwin poems, in which he encourages all of us to pay more attention. Just this. Just this, this room where we are. Pay attention to that. Pay attention to who's there. Pay attention to what is known there. Pay attention to what … [Read more...] about Pay attention
It’s about the support
What should I do? Have you ever been in a meeting where you aren't the one presenting, and you're not sure what to do?Some people disconnect, stop listening, or do their email, while others might look for ways to interject into the presentation. It's difficult to know how to play a role in … [Read more...] about It’s about the support
Stop bullying yourself
The bully. Do you ever notice the way we sometimes talk to ourselves?For instance, "I have to stop saying sorry."or"I should eat better."There's a lot of intensity behind these sentences.I've talked in the past about perfectionism and how it can make us brittle, and I recognize … [Read more...] about Stop bullying yourself
Your unique voice
What if you trusted your own voice? There are so many helpful tips out there regarding how to speak with clarity and poise, but what about how to speak as yourself?Do you want to have more confidence when you speak?Do you wish that you could have more influence when you speak?And do you … [Read more...] about Your unique voice
What weakens our words?
The power of language. Have you ever said or written something that you felt was clear, only to find that it was misunderstood?Perhaps you've written an email that you felt was clearly stating your position, only to find that the meaning hadn't been clear?If so, then you're not … [Read more...] about What weakens our words?
Feedback Loops
The nature of communication There's a phenomenon in communication that's quite common, but that doesn't get as much attention as it deserves.That's the phenomenon of a feedback loop in communication.I think of this as an important tool in our society as human beings. It allows us to orient, … [Read more...] about Feedback Loops
Communication is like magic (when used correctly)
Everything feels hard these days Don't you agree?The past few months, I've noticed that teams of all kinds are struggling to connect and collaborate despite all best intentions.According to Gallup, the trend of worker engagement (and disengagement) continues to go in the wrong direction. … [Read more...] about Communication is like magic (when used correctly)